When I started this blog a few years ago, I wanted it to be real. The real me with real struggles and real successes all wrapped up in a very real God who orchestrates all the seemingly crazy moments into a purpose-filled life.
So the back story for this post –
March 12: Tax season is in full swing, hours are creeping above 40/week, life is good, but a minor headache begins (and I assume tax season is to blame because it can be stressful y’all).
Fast forward almost 11 weeks: That minor headache overnight became the hands-down worst pain that I have ever experienced, and it never let up. My life consisted of trying to sleep, going to work, and wanting desperately to get back home to try to sleep again because sleep was the only time my head didn’t hurt.
Many doctors, many MRI’s, and many, many tears later, surgery was really the only option, so that’s what we did.
Thankfully (x a million), the surgery has been successful and recovery, though not without a few set-backs, has been smoother than expected.
Now to the point of this post –
“…I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” – Isaiah 46:4
He will sustain you.
With every medicine that didn’t work, doctor that couldn’t give me answers, night that I couldn’t sleep, and day that I physically couldn’t function, I became more frustrated and felt more helpless.
But I also became more reliant on the good Lord because honestly, I had to. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I knew I couldn’t get out of bed and pretend I was fine in my own strength. I knew I couldn’t put a smile on my face every day when it took every part of me to just get up in the morning.
Thankfully, with many God-timed reminders from friends and family along the way, it is with every ounce of gratefulness in my body that I say God truly sustained me. He was my strength, He was my motivation, and He was the hope that I desperately needed. Because no matter how bad I felt, I knew even more that my God makes no mistake. “If this pain is part of my life, God has a purpose for it.” became the mantra that I had to cling to daily.
So let me say again, God will sustain you, just as He faithfully has every other day of your life.
In pain, in suffering, in confusion, in questioning, in grief, in sadness, in depression, in anxiety, in stress, in loss, and in every other phase of life, the Creator of every good thing will sustain you because that is who He is.
He is sovereign and gracious and persistent and faithful and purposeful and loving and so, so much more.
I know there are many people fighting a battle much bigger than mine, but please hear me when I say that no battle is too big for the God who splits seas and opens the eyes of the blind.
On the other hand, many people are fighting a battle that seems smaller than mine, so also hear me when I say that no battle is too small for the God who cares for you so deeply and so personally that He knows just how many hairs are on your head.
He will sustain you. He will catch you. Or He will pick you back up if He allows you to fall (again, He makes no mistake). He will rescue you. He will be your source of strength or light or hope or love or joy or grace or mercy or freedom or literally any other thing you could possibly need.
So what will I do in response to the greatness of my God? Honestly, no words have come to mind that seem to be enough, so all I’ve been able to say is “Hallelujah.”
Hallelujah – God be praised.
Throughout this journey, there was a song that sang the words I prayed over and over again: “Whatever’s in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah.”
After saying it so many times, I’ve experienced more than ever that there is power in a “Hallelujah.”
So whatever you’re going through – sing, shout, cry, scream, or if you don’t think you can do any of those then simply whisper it. “Hallelujah, God will sustain me.”