I was going through random, old notes earlier trying to condense them into some kind of organized collection, and I came across one that literally made me laugh out loud. Now because this weird space we now call “Quarantine” has resulted in a nationwide toilet paper shortage and because I think we could all use a laugh, allow me to share a story I wrote down to remember (maybe for this specific moment) on 8/31/19:
Guess how many rolls of toilet paper I dropped in the toilet today?
Two. Two rolls of toilet paper flew off my counter and into the commode in the span of two hours. The first was knocked off as I turned my hair dryer on. I guess using the most powerful setting has its downsides. Then, as I prepared to head out the door I went back to the bathroom to swipe on another layer of mascara because the curse of blond eyelashes is real, and guess who knocked another *brand new* roll of toilet paper off the counter as she was reaching for the mascara? I will spare you the details of the words that flew out of my mouth before the TP even reached its destination. It’s a funny story now that the moment of anger has passed, but the point I want to make is that this single scenario (a number 2 if you will) could have ruined my day if I’d let it. For most of my life, and maybe still some days now, I would let it. I would give up on the day being good, drag my feet out the door, and answer the “How are you today?” question with “Oh I’m just having a fabulous day today” with all the sarcasm I could muster (which is a lot honestly). But today, I had a moment. Not a day, but a moment of “Are you kidding me?!” and then I let it go and went on about my day with nothing more than a funny story to tell the world.
I have to be honest with you and admit that when I read that note today part of me cringed at losing such a hot commodity, but I was glad to be reminded that I have a choice in how I react to these things. This was a very minor situation, but I think the minor things can become the major things if we let them. I also think our choice in the matter remains the same regardless of the scale. I can choose to stay angry, or I can choose to take a moment and then reset my heart and mind to begin again. I’m proud to have this reminder that I made the right choice that day, because there have been many days since that I have not. Especially during this season when I feel myself getting snappier by the minute on days when the walls of the house seem to be closing in. I have literally wanted to scream about things like running out of ice cream or not being able to find the one puzzle piece I need or not being able to go out to eat somewhere other than Casa de Santi. Maybe you can relate. If you can’t and you think I’m crazy, please don’t tell me that because I am feeling very fragile as it is. If you can relate to allowing bad moments to turn into bad days, I hope these verses encourage you today: Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. - Lamentations 3:22-23 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand… Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. - Colossians 3:1,10 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. - Hebrews 4:14-16 We get to choose here, y'all. We can choose to stay angry and bitter and frustrated. Or we can choose to pray for a pure heart and renewed spirit, for mercy to begin afresh, for help when we need it most. We will still have our moments of anger, but our moments don’t have to become our days. Our moments may be angry, but may our days be full of mercy and grace and becoming more and more like Jesus.